Labor went well; Lisa was a warrior and did great. I was pretty emotional and did not completely break down. Before Bryson finally arrived we were told that meconium was present in the birth fluid and it was possible that Bryson may have swallowed some. He came out covered in blood and poop; they did not want him to cry as they were not sure what was in his lungs. They began to tend to Lisa and I left with Bryson to the NICU. The nurses did all they could to reassure me that all was well, but it was not helping. After some time (felt like an eternity) I went out to tell the family that Bryson was born. I did not make it, thankfully Kelly was there to support me as I balled my eyes out and relayed the news that Bryce was in intensive care. Stressful was the understatement of the new year. Here my son was in a bubble in the NICU with a heart murmur, poor oxygen levels in his blood, covered in poop and I was powerless.It was at this moment that I learned a very important lesson. I was not the first father to stand by and watch his son suffer. I was not the first father that had to walk out of the room because his boy was in pain. The only comfort I could I could find was with my wife. My poor son was hurting and the fate of my son’s livelihood was in the hands of others. I really felt that there was only one person who could understand how I felt and that got me through.That night the wonderful nurses at Kaiser allowed our family into the ICU. Mark, Brent and Dad were prepared to give Bryson a blessing, I was not. I was unsure of what I would say to my son. My worst fear was that I would bless him to return home and I could not do that. I wanted to raise my son, to love him, to teach him, to show him how to live, laugh and love. I did not want to have to say goodbye and lose the one thing I had wanted since I was 16, my Bryson. Dad told me that I was the only one worthy to bless my son, so I better do it.The nurse removed the bubble from his little body and we placed our hands on him. As soon as I touched his little head I felt calm. We proceeded to bless him and commanded his body to heal and I don’t remember much after that. There was not a dry eye in the NICU and we had to leave him for the night.The next morning we were anxious to see what the night had brought for our son and we were so happy to see him. He was in tiny pajamas, clean, pink and waiting for us. The nurse said that she cried that morning when she saw him because he was healthy and needing his mommy. We held him, tried to feed him, kissed him, hugged him, cried, and kissed him some more and cried more. His blood oxygen level was perfect, his heart was perfect, his lungs, ears, eyes, nose and organs were perfect. He had some irritation in his throat from his tubes but aside from that he was fine.That was three years ago today and a lot has happened since then. We are now in Phoenix and I am a different person. I am more cynical, more callous, colder, and less hopeful. I choose not to associate with church or faith and I have come to rely on myself to provide my family. But no matter where I go or what I do I will never forgot that first 36 hours of Bryson’s life. I will not deny what I felt, I will not deny what I said, and I will not forget the unbelievable feelings of support, love and genuine caring.I admit that I had a hard time typing this through the tears!!!!